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LESSONS OF LOVE

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By Musa Toyyib Olaniyi

1. Whenever you go into any relationship, ensure your intentions are pure and noble- preferably for the sake of God, love and to better human conditions.

2. Any relationship that you go into must necessarily observe the limits set by Allah. Nobody is worth wilful disobedience to God. When you err, race to seek God’s forgiveness

3. In any relationship, do everything in your capacity to fulfil your own part of the bargain and enjoy a vindicated conscience

4. In a relationship, even when you give your best, don’t expect that the other person will give his or her best. Your partner may even give his or her best, but such best may not be good enough. This is possible because of individual differences, differing inherent capacities, past experiences and other associated factors.

However, when there is will there will always be a way. If the one with lower treshold of love is willing, with encouragement from his /her partner, the challenged love will witness positive transformation and growth.

5. Healthy and successful relationships thrive on investment. The investments are critical sacrifices that will ensure the success of the relationship. Be very careful when you are the only one making the key sacrifices. Watch out, the other party will not appreciate or honour the relationship and may even come to ask for your life.

6. In any relationship, the moment your partner sees that your love is blind and that is when you are too ready to make all the sacrifices, he or she will soon ask for blind trust too. If you are not careful, or don’t know when to pull the brakes, you will either become a nonentity in the relationship or begin to dig your own grave.

7. Healthy relationships are built on trust. But trust is also EARNED. So, when your case is complicated, strive to earn the trust of your partner by doing your best to show openness, genuineness, transparency and goodwill even when it is not necessary.

With such genuine efforts, your partner will normally build trust. This is important when you have a relationship full of promises and you are still entangled with another dead relationship.

8. When given a choice between TRUE LOVE and MONEY. Grab with all your might, TRUE LOVE. Wealth, fame, success and other good things will naturally gravitate towards where love exists.

9. In life, know that there are good people as well as bad people. When you allow yourself to be chained by your traumatic past love affairs, you will never see the God-sent angel when he or she comes knocking.

10. In any relationship, when you continue to make withdrawals without contributing to the investments in terms of key sacrifices nurturing relationships, if your partner is not a fool, be sure that the relationship will soon expire.

Withdrawals are actions, deliberate or otherwise, that hurt your partner or undermine, dishonour and disrespect your relationship.

11. In any relationship, double dating is a poison. It will poison your heart and poison the love existing between you and your partner. Never engage in it even if it is just emotional affair. Emotional affair is just a step away from illicit sexual intercourse and infidelity.

12. When you are in a relationship that is heading nowhere, and you now found another one full of promises, don’t gamble. If blissful marriage is your GOAL, choose the one that is genuine and BURY the one that has no marital prospect; otherwise you will mortgage gold for ordinary metal

13. Not everybody that has bitter experiences in failed relationships is a victim. Some may have serious character deficits that will invariably kill any relationship, no matter how blissful.

14. For men, if you are very kind, going into relationship because you desire happiness for another is a possibility, but think twice before submitting your heart.

Be sure that you are not the only one making the sacrifices, otherwise you could be burnt.

Some people with failed and traumatic past relationships are like electric fishes. They, consciously or unconsciously, electrify their environment because of reflexive need for self protection, and in the process, they may kill the best thing to have ever happened to them

15. If you are naturally kind, yours is a heart of gold, don’t give it to anybody anyhow. Be selective. Swine will never appreciate gold.

16. When you have given your best in a relationship, when the other person is asking for your life, run as fast as your legs can carry you.

17. You are neither God nor a Messiah. When you have done your best, made all the sacrifices possible at your own end, and the other person cannot be bothered and he or she is even asking for your life, please take the next exit route

Your life belongs to God alone.

18. Asking for your life is when you are dying secretly and gradually because the love and sacrifices you offered on platter are not being honoured, respected and guarded jealously, and your health is at stake. Emotional stress can lead to several complications. Please run for your dear life.

19. Even when you run for your life, still let your goodwill radiate to others and strive to maintain your sanity. Be fragrant. Be a fragrance that makes people around better.

20. In all aspects of your life, do your utmost best with sincerity and hope for Allah’s rahma in your affairs.

© Musa Toyyib Olaniyi

July, 2020.

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